Some Things
This morning, I had an allergy test. The doctor stuck my arm with 18 drops of yellow liquid and waited to see if I died.
DOCTOR. This one's birch, this one's ragweed, this one's cockroach--
ME. Excuse me?
In addition to injecting me with cockroach, she also gave me an epi pen, which I am now required to carry with me at all times. I feel so tragic, like the kid in My Girl.
==
In the month of January, I went on five first dates. Have I mentioned that I hate dating? Have I mentioned that I hate dating more than anything on earth? Have I mentioned that I would rather be repeatedly injected with cockroach extract than ever go on a date with anyone again?
Have I mentioned that I have a second date with someone tonight?
Right.
And because I'm me, I couldn't just go on five dates like a normal person. I had to also write an article about it. You can read that article here, though the print version is much prettier. My name looks good in lights.
==
{ alaa abd el fattah }
COWORKER. Mubarak is so Brett Favre.
ME. Spoken like a true Wisconsinite.
COWORKER. Watch he's going to move to some other country and become president there.
ME. And then his first country's going to win the Superbowl.
Well, it basically kind of did.
